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I am so cranky today....shit.

Writer's Block: Oh no not I

Well lets see...what do I do when I go on to the next one...which happens a bit more than is probably healthy...hmmm. I know I like to be out of the house..getting away from being by myself..I like to go out with the friends and have a few drinks. I usually like going to yoga or kickboxing to relax and occupy my time. I'm not the type to go out and vandalize property or stalk the shit out of their house...Im not looking to get a criminal record for being broken up with/breaking up with someone. I'm not one to eat my feelings or anything like that...no need to gain weight when your back out in the dating world lol. I guess I'm weird in the sense that I don't really care when a break up happens...you can usually see one coming (I said usuallllllyy) so Im not usually shocked....I sound so fucking heartless....figures.

"you really should get a hobby..."

I swear if ONE more FUCKING person tells me to get a fucking hobby I'm going to go crazy. I know I don't have a job...do people have to ask? I think I should make a sign...just in case people all over town/the state/the world are curious. Seriously...thats the best advice you can give me...get a hobby?! Let me get right on that. What shall I do? Learn to knit? Start collecting gold coins? First issue, they tell me to get a hobby, second issue no one offers any ideas when I ask "Ok like what?" If you have no advice past that one stupid comment don't bother saying a word.
Is it even ok to google hobbies to actually understand what they are? Because I did. Judge that. I don't care. A hobby. As I read the list...I was almost embarrassed to be reading this list. Lock picking? Gardening?- if people knew me..this would be the ultimate joke..yodeling..really?! write a book..too bad I have nothing to fill my book with because I have to fucking google hobbies....no one wants to read that shit. Tent pitching was also on the list..Im not even going to comment on that. I know I could be positive and try these things..but REALLY?! lock picking? cmon.

Tweet Tweet...er...

I need how to make decisions and good decisions at that. In this heat, I can barely remember my nammmmeeeee

kiss it goodbye

Im dying, rotting, from the inside out. Can you tell/

achievement..i think

Well- I did it. I really did it. I graduated from college. I did. I got the diploma to prove it and everything. It seems like the brief 4 seconds of fame that I got when I crossed that stage did not do the amount of time, the amount of tears, the sweat and heartache those four years put me through. That piece of paper is probably the most valuable/most expensive thing I own. And I kinda like that. I can pull it out whenever I want and look at it, gaze into its eyes and loose myself in memories. Such comfort. Something that I can count on, even though, I mean, it is a piece of paper.

too many bare hangers

I wish I could scream as loud as I wanted, without someone thinking I needed a prozac. Im so sick of everyone around me I could literally vomit. Drama is everywhere- in everything that I touch, everything that I breathe, drama. People cannot get over themselves, maybe thats me included. I feel like Im losing touch to this whole college thing- thank God Im graduating, I can turn and never look back at this soulless place. I feel like adults fill your head with dreams and fantasies about  what college does to you- 'oh you'll find yourself' ' youll find who you really are'- what a load. I think Im more lost than ever- your going to tear me away frrom the only thing I have known for 4 years and throw me in a sea of uncertainities and disgust where no one cares about you- sounds great.

gahhhh I hate not being able to sleep
if something, anything, could go my way....I would be forever grateful

This place is a circus...

I need to think why your not good for me.

I need to dream of your smile and your laugh to get me through tonight.

Hold on tight Im afraid to let go.

welcome to dreamland.

my number was just called.

xxx

Feb. 25th, 2010

my mind cant wrap itself around it...